It will be 3 days to our 18 months together with JT . As always Valentine preparation etc...but i guess with the economic downturn hitting UK badly it has affected our expenditure lately. Last years Valentine's was a surprise day trip to Calais and it was so romantic..but this year is a bit chilled out and decided to have it a home instead.
I was kinda up for Valentines meal and surprise thing and even ordered a special Valentine Day card from moonpig.com 2 days before the 14th Feb, i know i have been choke with university work and didnt even had the mood or free time to think about valentine plus JT and I have been going through some rough patch of being together. But here is how my card look like :-
Its hard being in a relationship when you move in with your boyfriend. So much to cope up with. The size of your wardrobe needs to be sacrifice , the space you want to have is so much constrain and less freedom to do what you want. But then again its lovely to be closer to your boyfriend and i dont think i have the energy to cope with Long-distance - Been there done that , heart broken , move on
Anyways back to the topic.. as i said i was so hype up on whether JT is doing anything special for me this year Valentine but then i again dont expect much . If he does then yeah if not i dont think i get too affected anymore as i have been through hell with him that week and called him to F*off. but everything is alright for now. As we have little MT ( his daughter) for weekends hence we dont get the 'our special time' together so guess there is no point of doing anything lovey dovey things around.
So what we had for dinner was Fiilet steak from the butcher and exchanged gifts & cards. I didnt expect him to get me anything during that time and teasingly ask him where is my flowers / chocolates and card? JT cheekly said where is mine? so demanding!!!!!
I told him i didnt have anything for you am afraid but FINALLY he manage to open it amongst the letters...and loved it :)
I thought i wont get anything from him but he went out to his car telling me his getting something and then out comes a set of lovely candles and handmade chocolates from John Lewis.
How thoughtful and im happy but not too impressed with his effort of gifts ( in my heart) but i guess its better than nothing. Was expecting to have flowers from him. But then again this will do ...i didnt give him anything on valentines day but cleaned the house! i showed him the gift that he should be having but it will arrive on the 20th.It was a photo love book from photobox. He liked it and laugh at me telling im so last minute.
Cant manage to show you a digital copy but will take some picture once the book arrives.
So as we had our dinner and crack open a Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin i think i was getting drunk , WE WERE TALKING about names on IF I WAS TO HAVE A BOY or A GIRL and ask him a question :-
Dy : Would you ever want kids in the future?
JT : They are expensive and Im not sure if i can give the same attention to what I give MT. Besides age is going to be a lot of differences there.
Dy :Well im sure its not fair on your future partner if she wants to have kids next time. Surely you must want kids with the partner. It will be a
selfish thing not to have any. I want kids if i was to end up with you.
JT : You a mum? so scatty! lol...you will be a good mum and kids do change you.
JT : You might have to look for someone else !!!! TEASINGLY at me....of course i want kids but i cant afford another one yet.
where I was willing to give her mine Canon IXUS I. Its old but would do for a little girl. Oh well i told JT and he laugh.
Dy : i guess it all make sense now about step-mum role with the real mum role
JT : SH wants the best for MT. and its hard for both me and SH. I want MT to regard MH as a father as well eventhough that hurts. As long MT is happy i dont mind . Plus MH is contributing to the household / expense for MT but DC (me) not contributing anything as again its the MALE and FEMALE perception. Men are perceive to feed the family while Femaleis regarded to take care of the home.
DY : Yeah but i dont mind contributing to the expense of having MT just that would it be risky to cross over boundaries with SH? I dont mind loving MT but she has a mother and there is always going to be jealousy .
JT : Call me a hypocrite but i can never see myself in your shoes or ever want to be in relationship with someone who has a child
Dy : You telling me you wont love the child as much as your own ? and would you not want a relationship with someone who has a child so you guys have more in common
JT : NO....rights can we retire now in the living room darling?
DY: yes we can. I'm glad we had this conversation
JT : Yeah.
There you have it!!! The truth is out!!!! And i dont feel the burden of keeping secrets from him anymore..Stay tuned for more then
Love ,
I was kinda up for Valentines meal and surprise thing and even ordered a special Valentine Day card from moonpig.com 2 days before the 14th Feb, i know i have been choke with university work and didnt even had the mood or free time to think about valentine plus JT and I have been going through some rough patch of being together. But here is how my card look like :-
Its hard being in a relationship when you move in with your boyfriend. So much to cope up with. The size of your wardrobe needs to be sacrifice , the space you want to have is so much constrain and less freedom to do what you want. But then again its lovely to be closer to your boyfriend and i dont think i have the energy to cope with Long-distance - Been there done that , heart broken , move on
Anyways back to the topic.. as i said i was so hype up on whether JT is doing anything special for me this year Valentine but then i again dont expect much . If he does then yeah if not i dont think i get too affected anymore as i have been through hell with him that week and called him to F*off. but everything is alright for now. As we have little MT ( his daughter) for weekends hence we dont get the 'our special time' together so guess there is no point of doing anything lovey dovey things around.
So what we had for dinner was Fiilet steak from the butcher and exchanged gifts & cards. I didnt expect him to get me anything during that time and teasingly ask him where is my flowers / chocolates and card? JT cheekly said where is mine? so demanding!!!!!
I told him i didnt have anything for you am afraid but FINALLY he manage to open it amongst the letters...and loved it :)
I thought i wont get anything from him but he went out to his car telling me his getting something and then out comes a set of lovely candles and handmade chocolates from John Lewis.
How thoughtful and im happy but not too impressed with his effort of gifts ( in my heart) but i guess its better than nothing. Was expecting to have flowers from him. But then again this will do ...i didnt give him anything on valentines day but cleaned the house! i showed him the gift that he should be having but it will arrive on the 20th.It was a photo love book from photobox. He liked it and laugh at me telling im so last minute.
Cant manage to show you a digital copy but will take some picture once the book arrives.
So as we had our dinner and crack open a Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin i think i was getting drunk , WE WERE TALKING about names on IF I WAS TO HAVE A BOY or A GIRL and ask him a question :-
Dy : Would you ever want kids in the future?
JT : They are expensive and Im not sure if i can give the same attention to what I give MT. Besides age is going to be a lot of differences there.
Dy :Well im sure its not fair on your future partner if she wants to have kids next time. Surely you must want kids with the partner. It will be a
selfish thing not to have any. I want kids if i was to end up with you.
JT : You a mum? so scatty! lol...you will be a good mum and kids do change you.
JT : You might have to look for someone else !!!! TEASINGLY at me....of course i want kids but i cant afford another one yet.
Dy : I have to tell you this JT, I can never love MT as my own. I can understand the role why people use the term evil step-mother. Thats because
they have to be cold for the sake of both child and the real mum. I have cross boundaries with SH regarding giving MT a camera And SH ( MT'S MUM) didnt
like it
and wanted a new pink one for MT...my thats a bit harsh considering MT is only 7 years old why give an expensive camera at that young agewhere I was willing to give her mine Canon IXUS I. Its old but would do for a little girl. Oh well i told JT and he laugh.
Dy : i guess it all make sense now about step-mum role with the real mum role
JT : SH wants the best for MT. and its hard for both me and SH. I want MT to regard MH as a father as well eventhough that hurts. As long MT is happy i dont mind . Plus MH is contributing to the household / expense for MT but DC (me) not contributing anything as again its the MALE and FEMALE perception. Men are perceive to feed the family while Femaleis regarded to take care of the home.
DY : Yeah but i dont mind contributing to the expense of having MT just that would it be risky to cross over boundaries with SH? I dont mind loving MT but she has a mother and there is always going to be jealousy .
JT : Call me a hypocrite but i can never see myself in your shoes or ever want to be in relationship with someone who has a child
Dy : You telling me you wont love the child as much as your own ? and would you not want a relationship with someone who has a child so you guys have more in common
JT : NO....rights can we retire now in the living room darling?
DY: yes we can. I'm glad we had this conversation
JT : Yeah.
There you have it!!! The truth is out!!!! And i dont feel the burden of keeping secrets from him anymore..Stay tuned for more then
Love ,
