Why Doesnt He Say I LOVE YOU
This one is for the Girls,

JT and I have been together 21 months now and he still hasnt said the word I love you.

Why? well a question that i always try to understand and ponder. I asked him and he said Dont you think its better when I meant it? ...Men..utterly frustrating!!!

Sometimes he says Love you darling when i have to go get his injections where its far for him to walk and I will go get it for him and he appreciates it lots so guess thats when he say I love i suppose.

Anyways an article for you to think about it.


Q: I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year. He is the perfect man for me. I truly love him. Through the things we do and say, it’s implied that we were meant to be with each other. For example, I designed a cake and got him a gift that said "I love you" on it. He acts like he loves me and will never leave me.


A: Two things seem to be going on. First, you might be experiencing some unrealistic expectations. You referred to your partner as truly the perfect man for me, yet you also describe behavior that doesn’t seem to suggest all things are indeed perfect – such as him never saying he loves you. We must have standards for a partner, but they shouldn’t be idealized.
Soul mates are never perfect. Even the strongest relationships involve some give and take. You might be demonstrating black-and-white thinking, which is not uncommon in women because they tolerate less ambiguity then men. Seeing things this way has advantages in some situations and disadvantages in others.



In your situation, you should honestly ask yourself if he truly never expresses his feelings, or is it more the case that he simply just does not say the words “I love you” enough for your personal taste and expectations.


The second issue might be involved differing communication styles between men and women. In healthy relationships, men might not say “I love you” because they sometimes feel their actions speak louder than words or they feel some discomfort verbally expressing love due to their upbringing. It’s important to understand that actions and words go together because they reinforce each other.
However, in unhealthy relationships, arguing over how many times he says this phrase is a sure sign that there are deeper issues in the relationship – most likely it’s a control issue.


While it’s a control tactic for women to insist that men express themself through these specific words, it’s also a power play for men to withhold precisely the phrase that means so much to women. Each party is guilty of putting the individual agenda first, before the needs of the other person and the relationship as a whole.


Whatever “I love you” symbolizes for you needs to be expressed and discussed. His interpretation also needs to be discussed. Chances are good that your two expectations are not the same, and both of you are worried about the implications of the presence or absence of these words in terms of emotional involvement and long-term commitment.


Women would do well to acknowledge and appreciate other ways their partners express love and devotion. As action-oriented beings, men naturally show their love by doing things for their partners. This form of expression is just as valid.
The first step is for you to ease your frustration by talking openly about your concerns with him. It sounds like you have been hesitant to do this because you are afraid he might say he does not love you.


Remember relationships are risk-taking ventures. It’s better to know the status of your relationship then to assume what it is and then have the both of you experience unspoken, but crippling tension. When you talk to him remember to not sound like you are blaming him. Rather, simply try to understand some of his behaviors that confuse you, and make sure those sentiments come across.


The second step for you is to put aside any idealized standards of your partner that you might have and then thoughtfully listen to what he has to say. Lasting relationships are built over time; they are not instantly made via a soul mate connection. Keep that in mind and enjoy the process of building a relationship with your partner.

Hope that helps for those who are wondering why he doesnt say it. Dont worry , you are not the only one out there. Just act cooly and take it lightly. Better love yourself then expect someone to love you right?


Lots of Love,
11:14:00 am | Category: | 0 views